Mr Intense

There’s an odd sense of expectation today (3 June), perhaps it’s because the library is overflowing, maybe it’s because Mr Intense has entered the podium. He has an acute Obsessive Compulsive Disorder condition that’s incurable, he has a tendency to tidy the podium before he can settle down, he also has a clinical need to align chairs to tables and is drawn towards examining the contents of bins. Today he has a major freak out and attacks Josef, the Romanian backgammon player. He accuses him of being really annoying, which he is, but you don’t say that to Josef, because more than anything Josef is part of the fixtures and fittings, and is quite insane himself. Mr Intense is now sitting opposite me, he can’t settle, there’s something bugging him, he keeps glancing over to Josef, its more of a glare, it seems to suggest that if you upset me once more, just the once then I’ll no choice but to rip your larynx out, he really is that intense!

After a while he does settle and I begin to observe this freak. He appears to be settled but he is still on edge, I can feel his toes drumming on the carpeted floor. Not only does he have dandruff, lots of, do people still have dandruff? I thought that was something like leprosy and smallpox, kind of just went away, anyway as well as the dandruff, he has a very peculiar hairline, it kind of starts just above the eyebrows, and I’m trying to work out whether he’s wearing a very thick black t–shirt under his shirt or if he’s just lycanthropically hirsute, perhaps his mother mated with a llama. There’s also a constant film of sweat below his nose, which is disturbing. I have to say it once more though, I’ve never seen anyone so, well, intense!