A new distraction was introduced into the library today (27 June 2011) designed solely to completely freak me out. There are squeaky doors and there are squeaky doors and the library lavatory door has been tuned to such precision as to cause maximum embarrassment whenever anyone returns to the study area after a session on the pan. I prefer taking my chances elsewhere, like the park and then it struck me; I thought of WD-40 because such squeaking is abnormal; the screech is akin to ripping a sheet of metal in half with your bare hands! Everybody knows that Norm Larson invented WD-40 and was also a little famous for founding the Rocket Chemical Company in California. The product was great for repelling water and preventing corrosion. Interesting huh? Well it gets better! The ‘WD’ stands for Water Displacement, and the ‘40’ for Larsen’s ‘40th attempt at concocting a formula for preventing corrosion in nuclear missiles by displacing the standing water that causes it. Well he arrived at a successful formula on his 40th attempt. A little known fact is that Larsen made a 41st attempt and came up with, well obviously “WD-41”. This is the shit that when sprayed on door hinges has the complete opposite effect of “WD-40”, causing hinges to squeak like fuck and placing undue pressure on my stress-coping levels. I need to have words with that impotent git of a library assistant who has an unhealthy obsession with nuclear armament!
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