Dating Websites

When I first started making a reappearance at the local (23 May) I felt quite self-conscious about walking in with a coffee but now I have no shame and often walk in with a fruit and seed bar and once strolled in with a low fat salmon and cucumber sandwich but this is nothing compared to what some of the local gluttons have consumed lately. Can you imagine what it's like trying to concentrate on a piece of creative writing when some pig several feet away is gargling a fruit trifle out of a plastic tub/carton/cup thing and another is stripping the flesh off the carcass off cooked chicken, its slightly off putting. To be honest it makes me feel quite ill witnessing so many overweight people stuffing themselves in public but I cope, accepting that this is the way of things, but there are times when you can't help but turn your head and think "what the fuck?"

Several weeks ago an incredibly obese creature manoeuvred his way over to a PC then loaded his blubber carefully on to a swivel chair, cue bum crack and anal hair. The chair groaned under this mountain of lard. It reminded me a little of those special drilling machines that used to hide in one of the pods in Thunderbirds, the one that used to fall apart slowly under the strain of being overworked in a rescue operation. Lard actually took a sideways glance at me as the remaining doughnut icing sugar fell away from his cheeks; he looked ravenous. Completely distracted now I had to follow his login and monitor his Internet traffic. His Facebook seemed quite cluttered so I couldn’t make out too much but after a few minutes he had logged onto a dating website. Some people have no shame! He had his back to the rest of the library and please trust me when I tell you there was at least another three voyeurs curious as to what was going to happen next! He then proceeded to send messages to women half his age and size and making arrangements to meet up in the local area, I was sadly following the messaging! I couldn’t help but imagine the battle scene where 25 stone of saturated, salted fat would collide with a 7 stone stick insect in the dining area of an exclusive restaurant. Content with his arrangements he boldly lifted his bulk like a clapped-out Citroen, before moving on to his next feed. I could write no more that day, I was exhausted!