Sunday 3 July 2011

Brian Blessed


Let me introduce you to The Library Trainer (14 June 2011) – he does 1 to 1 computer training sessions with complete and utter morons who have spent their entire existence avoiding Information Technology & civilization like the proverbial plague, oh, and has a voice like Brian Blessed, there is no need to say a lot more but I will – its freaking the fuck out me! His mighty vocal chords roar out instructions on how to use the space bar effectively, how to double-click on the Internet Explorer icon and how to use headphones to listen to Nancy Sinatra singing: “These Boots Are Made For Walking.”

For anyone remotely interested there is no sign of Mr Intense yet by the – probably still at home jerking off to bouncing balloons – why he is still allowed to walk freely on the streets is a mystery to me, maybe I should be a responsible citizen and call the police, but balloons, what is the big deal about balloons?

Looking up from my depressed state I can clearly see that fool Josef, he’s now drinking cheap Romanian beer and is breathing in my direction - and he has now just belched after thumping his fist against chest!!!! Murder him, slaughter him, and eliminate him – a voice in my head screams. If someone presented me with a half-decent plan to end his miserable existence I would have no hesitation in funding it.

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